Unfamiliar Territory
by Black Silken Rose
Summary: Carelessness or curiosity. Whichever it had been led them into a situation neither of them had seen coming, or knew how to handle. With their own emotions, and each others, placed haphazardly at the forefront, Hiei and Kurama face off in a battle unlike any others before. With neither willing to concede, can an understanding be found?
1. Chapter 1

**Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! **I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, **leave reviews or shoot me a pm** with your requests! I promise I don't bite!

For some reason, it's quite difficult to find a good KH pairing without someone getting horribly uke-ified (with the exception of a few choice authors who really get the dynamic). Here's my shot at an IC scenario, no undue fluff or AU stuff. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. If I did, well, I wouldn't be writing this fic.

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><p>He was not in the business of giving gifts, at least, not in the traditional sense. Gifts were sentimental and lacked the cold distance that he had grown fond of in his adolescence. Having only ever received one during his life, which he wore around his neck protectively, he did not even know how to go about doing such a thing. Yet, this was an occasion unlike any other so he was told. Birthdays had never held much significance to him, seeing as his had almost entirely been spent alone and others', besides his newly found sister, felt wasteful. Year after year he was coaxed into one of the team's celebrations unwillingly and every year he had snuck away towards the end of the evening more aggravated than he had been before arriving. His persuader always seemed to have the right trick tucked away in his sleeve to insure that he would show up, had some control over him that he would never understand. It was this same persuader that drove him to break his habit of empty handedness at such events. It was the fox's twentieth birthday. This was the day he would become a man.<p>

As far as he had been concerned, the fox already was a man, had been for a few dozen centuries. Still, the detective had convinced him that the day was momentous in recognition of his humanity, something that sat awkwardly with the little demon. It had been that same humanity which, only a handful of years ago he hated. Now, though, he was beginning to respect the fox's choice to fight for it. It was this state of being that, he realized after a few surfacings of the Youko, he truly preferred. They were innately different, something that had taken him by surprise when he first saw it. He wasn't sure anyone else had figured out yet that with silver hair came a different beast almost entirely, and was sure that no one else knew how much losing the small amount of control over the body he now had frightened the fox. Stability was greatly a façade, one that with effort and compromise between the two, was becoming more possible. After all, his body was only intended to hold the fox until he was well enough to live without it. The sharing of his mind was not something either being accounted for, and so they were choosing to stay as one, a mutualistic relationship, albeit one no one else could possibly understand. What he did comprehend was this: that the arrival of his twentieth birthday meant a pact had been made, the Youko allowing the half human to live out the rest of his natural life. What the terms and conditions were, no one but them would know.

This held much more significance to the demon than any human tradition. Still, he had kicked his feet for show, making the detective put up a good fight for his attendance on the day of the planned party just a few days after the actual event. He had been planning on visiting the fox anyway, though he chose not to tell the detective this. Why change his colors when he could drive him mad without trying? In the end, he had flitted off with his noncommittal "hn." Not only would he show up, but he would best them all with a gift more appropriate than any other for the occasion. First he would have to retrieve it.

The fates had aligned in such a way as to nearly place what he sought in the palm of his hand. The day before the kitsune's birthday was a tournament day, one of the richer, more powerful lords of the Makai's way of weeding out the weak and the troublemakers within their realm- not that it really was theirs. The fighting was held in one of the more traditional ways, a single rounded brawl held on neutral terrain, a winner only chosen once all others had either fallen or declared concession. The prize had not been announced publicly, only a few demons of high status were privy to that information. Luckily enough, a certain one-eyed ex-ruler of the Makai had been one of those few, and had been more than willing to pass along the information with a bit of teasing and begging. He was more than willing to fight for the prize. The tournament's host had been offering up a concoction of healing properties, a potion that was said to have been lost centuries before. With one swallow it was said to seal any cut or wound created by a blade, something he deemed useful for a fox who always seemed to take a hit in the fleshy part of his stomach. There was a catch, though, as there usually was with prizes in the demon world. This particular concoction had been noted for its effectiveness on humans. It had been a bit of a gimmick really, none of the other contestants would have had any use for it as far as he knew, as its effects on nonhumans had not been recorded. At its worst, he assumed, it probably did nothing. Even the fox's trademark wound was not fatal if treated, but at least this could streamline his healing. That was the thought behind it anyway, to minimize damage if not remove it completely. He hated seeing the fox bleed, as much as he loved to watch him fight. At least this way he wouldn't have to bleed for long.

The tournament had been won easily enough, doing no real damage but leaving him exhausted by then end of it. He had fought for a good twelve hours, hunting down every last one of the few hundred enemies within the confines of the wooded terrain which outlined the fighting grounds. It was only with the last surrender that the cannons were fired and he was granted with his prize. It had been in a mostly opaque gourd, which looked older and more valuable than the liquid inside, which was a peachish tinge from what he could gather. Without much time to waste, he headed back to the base which housed the most accessible portal to the human world he knew of. He had been planning on delivering his gift to the fox before the day ended completely, when he would be able to catch him on his own. Judging by the time, the fox would probably still be celebrating with his family, giving him a few more hours before he expected to meet him at his bedroom window, as always. Neither of their changes in address had stopped this habit of his; if anything the new apartment of the fox's held more appeal than his childhood bedroom had, with all the promise of an intruding human at any moment. As usual, the window would be unlocked, as if he was expected. He hoped to catch the redhead off guard, even if just for a moment. He reveled in watching shock widen those green eyes at his command.

What he had not counted on was being the one caught off guard. He was only a few kilometers from the portal when he felt an energy surge near him, and had nearly been taken away by the surprise attack. Clearly, he had not counted on competitors who chose not to join the tournament, but waited instead until the prize was in a more vulnerable position. He did not avoid the attack completely, swinging his sword in a high arc and taking off the head of his attacker just as the enemy sword plunged into his side. He wondered, as he felt the pinch of pain and the rolling of a demonic head at his feet, if he had not let the attack land out of pure curiosity. Yes, his carelessness had not been entirely innocent, and he felt something inside him let out a hiss as he removed the blade, a mix of blood and bile following it. Something had ruptured within him. He grimaced, cursing himself at the depth of the wound and holding his organs in place as he pulled off the stopper to the container he carried. Just one swallow, so they said, and all such wounds would be healed. It wasn't as if the fox knew how much had been in there to begin with, not that he was stealing much, and he was dying to find out if it worked before passing it along to his companion. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he swallowed thickly, wiping his mouth with a bloodied hand. The wound would still need wrapping, even if the potion did work on demons like him. He pressed against the hold, holding his organs in as he continued to run.

The world became dizzy much sooner than he expected. In fact, he was not sure he expected it at all. He had just reached the end of the portal when he felt himself collapse, as if feeling his condition for the first time. He was sweating profusely, still spinning- or was everything else moving- he couldn't tell. His tongue felt cottony. As he tried to lift himself up he found that his arms and legs wouldn't budge. They stayed firmly where they were against the grass and dirt. It took a moment, but he realized that he wasn't sure where his head was, face up or down on the ground. How disorienting. It only frustrated him.

Suddenly, he was fighting to keep his eyes open. The more that became clear to him the more he slipped into unconsciousness. He had drank some of the liquid he had saved for the fox. He had made it to the portal to human world. He was laying outside, and it was night. He could only assume from the smell of the air and the feel of the world that he had made it. It felt familiar. He heard his name being shouted, and as he closed his eyes firmly and drifted away he saw the single image of his aqua haired sister running over to him. He was at the temple. He had missed the day.

Then there was nothing.

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><p>Thanks for sticking around for my first revival piece! R&amp;R!<p>

**Reviews feed my vanity.**So if you like it, it's always nice to know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! **I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, **leave reviews or shoot me a pm** with your requests! Or just review in general :D

I do not own YYH, even though I may want to.

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><p>With a sigh, he ran a hand through long, red hair. The day had been a long one, which he had expected, but it still took its toll on him. There had been classes, followed by early drinks with friends from university, and then a trip back home to his family. His mother had been on his case about the visit, as if now that he had moved away he never intended to return. He had spent the last few weeks reassuring her that he would be there, even dropping by unexpectedly a few times just to calm her nerves. It had paid off in the end, though it hadn't kept her for forcing him to stay until the sun had gone down and tiredness had taken him. The cool air was refreshing, despite stinging his neck somewhat where it was exposed. He could still feel the remnants of his other half's slight, but still present smile imprinting his subconscious. It warmed him from the inside, the small acceptance and allowance. He couldn't possibly think of asking for more from his life.<p>

He took his time on his walk back home, savoring the chance let his thoughts spill over. He had not expected to survive this long, in both the sense that he had triumphed over his innumerable enemies and that his inner self had not evicted him from life upon the first chance. It seemed an almost too good turn of events, upon finding that his life would continue with little, he hoped, to interrupt it. Things were beginning to settle as both the Ningenkai and the Makai were in times of relative peace, something that had not been seen since before the time of the three kings. His next few years, if he had his way, would be consumed with his academics and his botany, something that he had decided was worth a new study to improve his control and add to a few of his fighting techniques. Many of the seeds he had planted, in both of the worlds, had been put into bloom, and thus he felt it was time for a few new tricks up his sleeve. Certainly the human him would have ample time for some experimenting, if the peace could be kept. Still, he had made plans for a monthly spar or two with the half-demon detective, just to make sure they stayed as in practice as they were before the peace: it was assumed his comrade would be fighting again in a few years to keep his territory. The fox himself planned to be in attendance at the next great Makai tournament, whether or not he planned on participating was to be determined. As of right now, he had too many commitments to his human life, personal commitments, something new and pleasant for him.

He came to his apartment at a reasonable hour, though he would have preferred escaping just a bit earlier to give himself more time for getting lazily comfortable in the mounds of pillows and down blankets that he had cossetted in purchasing once he knew he would be staying for a time. That had been part of the agreement; he would not deny some of the desires of his Youko side, who was much more indulgent than he had ever allowed himself to be. This was another reason for the new experiments with his plants. There were a few more noticeable changes in his new abode, ones that his black haired comrade had been more than willing to tease him over when he was in the mood. The fox's eyes crinkled at the thought as he slipped out of his clothes and stepped into the warm stream that had been summoned in the shower. He had been the only one of the team to have been invited into the small space, something that neither of them had yet spoken about nor felt the need to. They had always had a sort of unspoken cohabitation determined by timing, and the timing of the smaller one's breaks from his duties in the Makai had come around the time the redhead had settled in. It had, so the fox thought, made him mildly uncomfortable to see the Youko side coming through in the softer fabrics he was given to sleep in, the unmarked soaps and shampoos made from flowers and herbs, the few small, stolen artifacts which lay about the room as a token of vanity. Still, he had only remarked on them slightly, with a hint of smug amusement, as if the fox was at fault for these changes. Perhaps it had bothered himself more; he was becoming self-conscious with these small changes in his grooming and presentation. He certainly didn't want to be coming off as weak in his humanity, not to this particular other. With the comfort that came from their unusual bond came an equal amount of caution, something that had not changed much in the years that they had known each other. Again, he sighed. This was not the direction he had hoped to take with his thoughts.

Drying his hair and stepping into more comfortable clothes, he took a moment to examine his room. It was still small, with no furniture save for his bed, desk, and dresser. The walls were practically bare, a single painting hanging over the center of the wall across from his bed, seeming almost out of place against the simple white. Placing the towel upon its designated hook, he padded over to the mattress, sitting on the edge and smoothing his hands over the blanket. He loved watching fabric fold under his fingers, feeling the softness that promised to envelope him at his command. Oh, how he had missed this. For every bed of dirt and rock he had slept on during his time as a bandit he had created a den of unimaginable luxury, holding places for his stolen treasures and his indulgent trysts. They defined extravagance and held the desires of most men within their walls. This could not compare to that, but it did serve as a nice reminder of what he had been accustomed to. He ignored the tugging thought that he was just missing a lover, something that lingered in his subconscious and the Youko liked to remind him of. So many years of diligent celibacy was enough to drive his silver haired self mad, and his current self had twice the trouble between his own thoughts and the desires of his other half. There was too much temptation in the world, in both the worlds, and it wasn't as if he couldn't have whomever he desired. He simply chose not to, for reasons the Youko pretended not to understand. The redhead desired no one: that was his story and he was sticking to it.

He was about to lean back with a sigh when he felt the disturbance. Familiar energy, but something was distressing about it. Whirling his head around to the window, he was somewhat surprised to find the ferry girl pulling up on her oar, fright stricken across her face.

"Kurama," she exclaimed as he pulled up the pane of glass, having ran over as soon as he saw her. "Something's happened to Hiei."

The fox stopped cold, feeling his human heart speed up at the news. "What's happened?" He could feel his voice shake somewhat. The ferry girl just shook her head rapidly, as if there was nothing else she could do.

"All we know is that he keeps saying your name. I've never seen anything quite like this before." His worry overshadowed his puzzlement as he slipped out the window and onto the back of the oar.

"Is he injured?" Botan willed the oar into motion, and he grabbed the wooden handle tightly as they soared frantically.

"I'm not sure," she called back over the sound of the wind whizzing past their ears. "It looks like he was, but we're really not sure what to make of it. We need your expertise," and with that they made their way to Genkai's temple, the fox not sure what he was dealing with or how serious it was.

Yukina was a mess when they arrived at the temple. He had never seen her quite so frazzled. He wanted to smile inwardly, remarking on their unspoken and secret connection, but his objective clouded all other thoughts. He moved quickly through the halls, heading into the room that the old warrior pointed out to him. His black haired friend was lying on a bed, breath ragged and unconscious but alive. He slowed as he reached his side, taking a moment to examine his companion without touching him. His cloak and top had been placed at the foot of the bed, leaving his sweat soaked chest bare. Blood stained his side, and it was clear that a gaping hole had torn through the skin at one time. Now, it seemed, whatever had intruded on him had gone, leaving the skin looking mangled and twisted, but healed. He frowned, knowing that something had gone wrong in his healing for this to have occurred, although what he did not know. The fox looked at the master and the ferry girl, asking something silently. The older woman nodded slowly, but did not move.

"Will he be alright?" It was a quiet question, lacking any intonation. He glanced from the wound back to her, knowing that she had already taken a look at it herself.

"I believe so. I may have to cut into him once he regains some energy and consciousness, but he doesn't show any signs of harm otherwise. I'll examine him further, and of course I'll let you know before I take any other actions." She sighed, as if the whole incident had been a waste of her time and ushered the shaky blue haired girl out. It did seem to have been a false alarm, although what was causing what he assumed was a fever he could not yet determine. The youkai's body was always uncommonly warm, but he was perspiring as if trying to expel something from his skin. The wound itself was baffling, the twisted skin forming a small mound almost like a knot on a tree. He no longer seemed to be bleeding, but the fox figured that the wound should be cleaned and wrapped either way, as a general precaution. This would not be the first time he took to tending to his unconscious friend's wounds, and he bet that it would not be the last. He made his way over to a small side table, where he assumed Genkai kept her bandages, but stopped before opening the drawers. On the surface lay a gourd, one which he had never seen in anyone's possession before. He picked it up curiously, careful of its delicate looking exterior. Uncorking the top, he brought his nose to the mouth, taking in the scent. It was unfamiliar, something that he instantly became wary of. His eyes flickered to the hi-youkai and he replaced the stopper, heading for the door. The pair he was looking for had not gone far, just down the hall into the larger training room which the old woman seemed keen on using to house her visitors. He slid the door open slowly, alerting them of his presence before leaning in halfway. Yukina stood immediately, worry written all over her bearing and he smiled disarmingly, hoping to calm her with the look. It seemed to work, as he noted her shoulders ease back a bit as they stared at him inquisitively.

"Excuse me, but did Hiei have this on his person when he arrived here?" It was asked innocently, as if it was of no great importance. Only the old master picked up on his question.

"Yes, he was clutching it as if not even death would pull it away." Yukina mused, a puzzled look on her face. He simply smiled, thanking her.

"What is it?" Genkai asked, sounding as if the contents were of no consequence. She was just as good at masking her emotions as he was, albeit in a different way.

"I'm not sure. I could try to determine its makeup," he paused, seeing worry grow on the younger two's face once more, then let out an almost breathy laugh "or I could simply ask Hiei in the morning, when he wakes up. He seems stable, no real damage and just a bit of a fever. I'm going to try to cool him off a bit, but besides that he just needs some rest. We all do, I believe." He smiled charmingly, exuding an unworried aura. It spread over the other two well enough, although he had a hunch that exhaustion played a part in it. Dealing with wounded friends, especially to the degree and frequency that they did, was taking a toll on them emotionally. This had taken them off guard, and just when they thought peace might change things for the better. He understood this all too well, and hoped to ease that toll himself.

"Really, there's nothing to be worried about. I'll stay in there with him, just to be sure. There's an extra futon in the closet, correct Master Genkai?" She nodded, and he began to step back out. "Goodnight all, please rest well." And the door was shut. He sighed, wandering back towards the room, pulling out the futon on his way, and dumping it on the ground after shutting the door with a light thud. This was not how he had planned on spending his evening. Still, he had wanted to see the little fire demon, and that wish at least came true. He rolled his eyes inwardly at the thought. This was not in the least what he had desired, but he would make due. As long as his friend was alright, he was more than content.

He shuffled back over to the bed, bandages in hand to take care of the knotted wound. The room was lit only by harsh candlelight, adding to the squint in his eyes as he reached his companion. Sliding gently over the edge to sit on the mattress, the fox leaned forward, taking a longer look at the demon's condition. His hands were fisted at his sides, as if he were grasping something important, breath still heavy despite being quiet. His usually high pants had been pulled along his hips to expose the site of the wound, making his torso look longer than usual, evening out his build visually. Thin lines of sweat streaked his chest and neck, almost looking enticing save for the worry of the situation. Still, the fox took a certain amount of ease taking in his sleeping form, something that he only got to do on the rarest of occasions. He had seen the other disrobed before and they had shared a bed on most of the rainy nights that he was stuck in the Ningenkai, but the black haired demon wasn't one to sleep soundly while being watched. There was a serenity about it, only disturbed by his current condition. The fox frowned. Sweat from the fever was staining the headband which kept his third eye hidden. He wondered if the other would have protested at its removal, something he did not seem fond of doing unless in the heat of battle. Still, it was one of the few things that the redhead could do to make him more comfortable, and he was beginning to feel a bit useless doing nothing but watching him from the edge of the bed. Moving slowly, as if not to wake him, the kitsune leaned in and reached towards the other's face. His fingers traced the outline of the white cloth gently, like the whisper of a breeze as he reached around his face for the tie. Surprisingly soft pieces of jet black hair tickled his skin as he moved, taking a leisurely pace as he delighted in the heat across his hands. He knew wouldn't have another opportunity to touch the other so gently, yet something held him back from taking full advantage of the opportunity. He was just shaking that thought away exasperatedly when the energy in the room pitched.

The smallest sliver of an eye peeked out from the hi youkai. It would have been unnoticeable but for the fact that at the same moment hands that had been clamped shut shot upwards, faster than could be registered. The fox tensed, letting out a strangled garble as he was pulled violently downward by his forelocks, so roughly that he half expected them to tare from his skull. He did not move for a moment, both shocked and worried, as the hands on his hair stayed fixed there, his face less than an inch from the others, chests pressed forcibly together in his awkward position. Just as he put some pressure into pulling back, he was stopped again.

"K'rama." The word was forceful, intent, yet somehow eerily satisfied. If the fox could have become any tenser he did. Feeling another tug, his face was pulled lower, leaving the tips of their noses touching. His green eyes widened as the demon under him lifted his head slightly as he pulled, bringing their foreheads together. Then he sighed, almost contentedly, leaving the fox to wonder what madness had come over his companion. Despite the efforts he was making, his heart rate increased, with no help from the image of his lips meeting the ones below courtesy of his inner demon. He cursed silently, a frown becoming apparent across his features.

"Hiei," he growled, warning but soft. He could feel the other's forehead crease under his, and then the pressure on his hair was slowly being lifted. When he knew he could without hurting himself, the fox pulled back quickly. This seemed to displease the demon under him, whose eyes opened halfway as he snaked his arms around his companion's back, pulling him onto the bed completely. Somehow, Kurama found himself straddling the smaller form, with strong hands locked firmly around his hips, keeping him in place despite his efforts to move. Green eyes flashed angrily as they locked with red pupils, but the anger faded with a realization: he was not exactly conscious. The body under him wriggled suddenly, pulling the fox back down so that he was holding his torso up with his elbows on the mattress, hands still keeping his hips in place. The movement sent a jolt through the kitsune, friction building unexpectedly in a fairly untouched region that he now found was pressed against the heated body below. He stared at the black haired demon, trying to figure out what exactly was happening and why. His eyes had closed again, but his head remained a few inches off of the bed, tilted towards his companion as if he were looking at him. Something clearly was not right, as he still had not snapped into a state of consciousness with all the movement that he was making. Even if he had been awake, the fox was sure that he had no awareness of what was going on around him. This thought was punctuated by a gyration beneath him, proving him correct as he came to the realization that the smaller demon was aroused.

If ever the fox had been in a situation where he did not know what course of action to take, it was this one. A thousand things flew through his mind at once, all to be swept away with another buck from underneath him followed by what could only be described as a throaty moan. He jumped, causing the hands on him to tighten painfully, digging in against bone. Even with the pain, the redhead was having trouble controlling his physical reaction as he tried to decide the proper course of action, growing half hard despite his efforts to focus on escape. Years of celibacy had been facilitated by the forced absence of touch, something his counterpart seemed keen on doing in his state. The redhead's breath hitched uncontrollably as he pushed himself up, putting his hands on the other's chest for support. In response, one of the hands on his hips lightened, slipping up his back and trying to pull him back down so that his back arched defiantly, doing nothing to help the position of their groins. He held back a noise as fingers tickled his spine, adding to his arousal and frustration and sheer anger at the situation. Not knowing his options, but not wanting to hurt the other in his state, the fox pushed hard against the chest under him and growled.

"Don't-" he was cut off as the hand on his back disappeared, closing around his throat menacingly. The grip was tight, choking him but allowing him to breathe. The hi youkai had sat up, eyes still closed, and brought the fox's face to his violently, tilting his head as if to examine the other. With one hand the redhead clawed at the intruding wrist while the other scraped his captor's chest, pushing in protest. Never before, even in their more violent spars which had turned into fights for dominance did the other act so viciously toward him, connecting flesh with vulnerable flesh so crudely. The redhead watched, now with reason to worry, as the other pulled his face, rejoining their foreheads as if trying to communicate something that he could not. Then, almost tentatively, he let his hand slip from the others neck, muttering a "hn" that would've sounded apologetic had it come from anyone else. He slipped back down onto the mattress, putting his arms back around the fox and taking him along so that they were chest to chest again. His green eyes widened incredulously. Something more than he had accounted for had definitely happened while he was away; that he could be sure of. He could only hope that Hiei would be awake soon and help fill in the blanks so that he could help his friend, who had long passed the point of frightening him. Never before had Kurama felt so helpless and scared for the both of them, and he had to admit that the whole incident left him shaken.

After waiting a moment to make sure that the other had settled once again, he turned to the edge of the bed, trying to force his way out of the arms that held him down. There was a rustling beneath him, and he nearly flinched as he felt the shape of the other turn with him, refusing to release him. The arms tightened again, and the redhead could see the definition in them as they encircled him. He lay on his side, unmoving, not wanting a repeat of what had just happened. A minute passed, and just when he thought the arms would relax enough to allow his escape they moved in an unexpected path. Heat flooded his back as the other body pressed tightly against his, trying to mold into every curve and crevasse. Something hotter than the rest pressed hardly against his backside, nestling into place against him with a full minutes worth of rocking motions which he was sure his partner was unaware of. Hands went from pinning his arms to his sides to new homes, one resting on his chest, pulling their bodies together further, the other finding a home in the crease between his hip and thigh. Both were dangerously close to places he could not stand to be touched at the moment, and he bit into his cheek hard as they drew soft patterns on his skin. Something nuzzled his neck, followed by warm, heavy breaths. Any attempt at movement was stopped immediately, and for a moment the fox wondered if the swordsman would kill him while sleeping if he tried leaving again. He closed his eyes tightly, screaming exquisite curses inside of his head. Not knowing what else to do but wait, and not wanting to wake the women even more than he desired to escape, he closed his hands into fists and resigned himself.

It was going to be a long night.

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><p>Don't forget to send me your requests! Reviewers always have priority!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

And so it goes. I'm more of a fan of internal struggle than a physical one, so enjoy as the battles move inside their minds. I do not own YYH, if I did it would probably have a different rating.

Thanks to the reviewers I've gotten so far. A little support goes a long way. That said, **Rate and Review Please!**!

Update**: Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! **I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, **leave reviews or shoot me a pm** with your requests! I promise I don't bite!

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><p>His eyes fluttered open, a sudden realization crashing over him. He was relaxed, and that was not a good thing. The last thing he remembered was hitting the grass, where or when was still unclear. This was no time to be caught off guard, of that he was sure. It took a moment to register that he was lying down, in a bed no less. Surrounded by the smell of soap and petals. Clutching at warmth. More than just warmth. The first coherent thought that raced through his head was a statement, but felt like a question: I am holding the fox. What disturbed him, though, was the state of the redhead.<p>

He was tense. Not just still, but entirely unmoving, every muscle in his body held as tight as could possibly be. It wasn't just that. There was an aura about him, fear and anxiety and a dash of something painful. This was not what an embrace was meant to feel like, especially one as close as theirs.

The proximity took a moment to sink in. They were flush against each other, so that if either of them moved the other would sense it. An arm was wrapped around the fox's waist, tucked comfortably in one of his most intimate spots. Their feet were curled around each other, as if tied together intricately. Red hair pillowed around the other, the nape of a pale neck against his lips and nose as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Except that it was not natural. It felt forced, as if the fox was bound by invisible rope. That alone was enough to frighten him.

His other arm was numb, the redhead's torso on top of it. He cringed slightly, his finger twitching against the other's chest. That was all the invitation needed for the fox to move, slowly, as if he were testing the grip. Hiei pulled his arm back, watching as the other slid free to sit up, moving to the other side of the bed gracefully but quickly. He sat up, grimacing and putting his other hand against his side as he did. What came next hurt more. He looked up at the other, finding himself on the receiving end of a steely look. It lacked emotion, feeling more accusing than anything else he had ever felt before. He knew this look, but it had never been used on him. The fox had put on a mask, clearly seeing this encounter as he did one with his enemies: as a battle.

His body language disturbed the fire demon. He sat pushed back against the wall as far as he could, as if trying to maintain distance from the other without standing. His legs were pulled up against his chest protectively, one arm wrapping tightly around them while the other fisted the sheets behind him. His face was turned toward him, shoulders tense. The delicate lips that he sometimes stole glances at were pursed thinly, but it was the eyes that truly pained him. Something had happened. He had been responsible.

Not knowing what to do, the smaller one tried to readjust so he was better facing his partner, cringing and doubling over slightly as he realized the extent that his injury was paining him. Eyes watching him narrowed, not a good sign to say the least. His red eyes flickered up, meeting green.

"What happened." It was a command more than a question. He tried to gauge the other's reaction, only to find that there was none. Just silence filled with the empty stare. He swallowed heavily, mind reeling to figure out what could have caused either of the positions he had found himself in upon waking. Nothing made sense, not without an explanation. _Damn fox_, he thought, cursing at how difficult he expected this to be. It was himself he was angry with, though he did not know why.

For just the glimmer of a second, green irises flicked toward the end table, then back to him. He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, raising a covered eyebrow as he turned to see what the fox was directing him to. "Kuso," he muttered under his breath, earning another narrowing of the eyes looking back at him. The fox's reaction had him even more perturbed than the fact that his surprise had been ruined. Still, he wasn't happy about that.

He slid over to the edge of the bed, taking in the final remnants of the redhead's residual heat almost sadly, but pushing the thought away roughly. Taking a deep breath, he stood, moving slowly as he straightened his back. He even cringed at the pain. Only the fox would get to see him this way, clearly weak and lacking the power to fight. He had bestowed that honor upon no one else, though he never verbalized it. Still, he was fairly certain that the other knew of its meaning, in the way that he always seemed to.

Taking the now grass stained gourd in his hands, he walked over to the redhead's position, feeling the atmosphere grow thicker-as if it could. He jutted a hand out, offering the object, but pulled back in surprise. It had been slight, but there was no mistaking it. The fox had flinched. Something was being lost in translation between them, and he was determined to remedy it. Moving carefully so as not to elicit the same response, he tried again.

"For you." He saw confusion swim in the green orbs for a moment before the mask went up again. Clearly, this was not what he had expected. The redhead made no move to take the object. He lowered his hand, taking the chance to sit back down on the edge of the bed, moving back to give the other breathing room. If he had learned one thing about the green eyed fighter it had been this: never corner a fox. Seeing that the spiky haired demon was trying to accommodate him, the fox lowered his eyes to the object sitting between them, still refusing to relax.

"What is it?" The words came out as a hiss, laced with a poison that he had not meant to administer with them. The other looked taken aback by them, and he frowned mentally. Clearly, the jaganshi was not aware of his actions; he should not be so quick to punish him for them. The tension in the room was electric, something that he knew he was causing. He bit his tongue, giving the other a chance to explain before filling him in on the events of the evening, if he chose to. The next move was not his, yet it would determine the outcome of the conversation. For once, the fox was not sure what the other was going to say; all responses would be a surprise. Just not as much of a surprise as he expected.

"A present. Happy birthday, Kurama." The redhead clamped his mouth shut, disbelief apparent on his face. Clearly not planning on saying anything, the hi youkai struggled for words. This was not his arena, of that they were both sure. Seeing that he had not answered the fox's question to satisfaction, he continued stumbling over words for the right ones, feeling as if they were vitally important to coming to some sort of understanding. "It's ancient, meant to heal human bodies." He swallowed, noting that the gaze which had returned to him was still blank, awaiting more. "I thought you could use it." Something flashed in those eyes, and he assumed it was anger. Had he just called the fox weak? He didn't think so, but tensed all the same, resulting in a sharp pain pulling from his side. Grasping at it as if it was the only tangible thing he could hold on to, he tried again, pressing his fingers against the twisted skin. "I don't like to see you hurt."

It was a loaded statement. He was pushing the fox, just a little, feeling as if there was nothing else he could say. Their roles had been reversed, leaving him feeling horribly unprepared. This was not how this was supposed to happen. This moment, this gifting, was meant to be one of the rare moments of intimacy he shared, something that he had been planning for months, letting it play in his head over and over until he had it right. None had gone to plan, and he shook slightly. Now, he only felt vulnerable and hurt, physically and deeply. There was a question spinning around in his head, one that he did not want to hear. Why? He didn't understand. It had all been ruined before he could even do anything about it. Feeling his exterior crack, he realized that his emotions were written on his face. For some reason, he found himself unable to hide them, turning his face away instead. Never before had he let any real feelings toward the fox surface, and he was furious to find that the first ones were shame, confusion, and hurt. He wanted to run, but knew that if he did he would never regain his control.

The fox knew that it was his turn to speak, but was transfixed by the storm raging across his companion's face. It elicited confusion; had he remembered what had occurred? No, that wasn't quite right. Something else was going on inside that tainted mind, something he was not privy to. Letting that go, only for a moment, he focused on what had been said, measuring his response carefully. What was the smaller demon trying to tell him? Judging by his changing features, the other did not know himself. He had simply been honest and open, leaving it to the other to sort out.

The fox was then in a predicament. All signs pointed toward one outcome; one he did not want. He knew that, as soon as he made a move, his emotions would give him away and it would send everything into a downward spiral. As much as he hated to admit it, the fire demon had frightened him. How exactly, he wasn't ready to put into words. The one thing that he felt comfortable vocalizing, at least to the other voice that whispered in the back of his consciousness, was that he had felt trapped and that was enough to send anyone reeling. He had not fought the demon for fear of hurting him, but equally had been treated like a doll. His body had been toyed with, his mind sent into chaos, and he was not pleased with either. What bothered him the most was that everything had been done with only a certain amount of the fire demon's awareness, meaning that there was subconscious intention in everything he had done. The whole thing had hurt his pride, maybe more than the grip on his neck. He did not want his friend to want to hurt him while desiring him. The fox was many things, but was not one to be forced.

Hiei had looked back over to him, his face noting the silence. Suddenly, the fox felt self-conscious. He lowered his head, letting his hair fall around his face. He took the opportunity, shadowed by a red curtain, to even himself out before continuing. A pang of guilt hit him as he felt the smaller one relax at his movement, knowing that it would hurt him all the more.

"Hiei," he began, lifting his face back up so that they locked eyes. His tone had calmed, resonating too evenly for someone as emotionally compromised. "How, exactly, do you feel about me?"

Ten seconds. That was how much time the fire demon sat there, tense again, shock stinging his spine. This was not what was supposed to happen. Had he given himself away? What had he given away? Did he even have any feelings to speak of? There was too much passing through his mind in that moment for coherence. All the while, he was watched. All thoughts faded as he understood the tone, the look, the language of the fox. He was being seen as a problem. He was being _dealt with_. He was in a position that he was unsure of how to handle. And he was frightened.

With not so much as a word, he fled, running as fast as his feet would take him back to the Makai.


	4. Chapter 4

Let's talk about our feelings... Sure. That's totally what's going to happen. Mmhmm. Right.

I do not own YYH. If I did, Kuwabara would be a lot less annoying.

Again, thanks to the reviewers who are sticking around. What lies ahead? Who knows? **Rate and Review!**

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><p>He had gone to the only place he could think of: back to Mukuro's lair. She had clearly not expected him back so soon, let alone in the state that she had found him. When he threw open the doors of her command chambers he had been covered in charcoal and blood, blacks and blues and reds coating his otherwise pale skin. He had been on a killing spree, although what he had targeted she was not sure. All she knew was that something has gone horribly awry within his mind and he had decided that the world should burn as a result of it. And burn it had, so it seemed. He was panting, pant legs torn, and blood dripping from an orifice on his side that she had not seen before. She smiled wickedly. She liked to see him enraged. It suited him like nothing else.<p>

She had him cleaned up, asking him what had sparked the disagreement between him and whoever he had taken to killing that afternoon. He spat at her, muttering something about it being the fault of the fox. This brought her frown back. She was still wary of his closeness with the former thief, finding that it superseded his loyalty to her. Then again, whatever had happened between them he had chosen to return to her for care, something that she took solace in. Her heir was a loose cannon, but she kept him around all the same.

He had beheaded a lower level demon who was trying to clean the black ooze falling from his twisted skin, making a face that said all too clearly, _touch me and you die too._ She would have snickered but for the nasty feeling that came from the wound itself. Something had not healed correctly, and she knew that it would have to be reopened for it to be fixed. He had argued with her, then took to doing it himself, then finally threw his sword across the room and laid on one of the cold metal tables in her lab defiantly waiting. She was more than willing to cut into him, savoring the exquisite look of pain that flitted across his face as she tore through his insides. It was almost fun, watching him squirm as her fingers pulled at pieces of dead flesh, freeing them from the healthy bits so he could heal again. The wound went deep, but was not as bad as she expected it would be. The most damage was around the edges where it had sealed, as if the demon skin did not know what to do. She frowned again, slicing at some charred dermis and bringing a hiss from his lips. He very much wanted to kill her. This time, she did let a small smile show. She very much wanted to see him try.

The fire demon was put in one of her healing chambers, a precaution against the depth of the wound. She was sure from the smell of it that it had gotten infected, no doubt due to the foreign blood that had covered him earlier. Watching him float all but naked in the tank, she wondered what had pushed him so far over the edge. _Kurama_. No, even he was not capable of this. Something was happening inside her fighter's mind, a conflict that had made its way to the surface. Yes, that made more sense. She chuckled bitterly, knowing in that moment exactly where the other demon's loyalties lay. Still, there was nothing she could do about it. At least he would know warmth, she thought, taking a moment to stare at her broken reflection on the glass. Warmth that she had only dreamed of very long ago.

Days passed, and he stayed in that state. Not moving, breathing artificially, his mind closed off. Nothing existed but a numbing buzz. He had wanted it that way. Now, though, too much time had passed for him to remain. He was aware of this, but pushed his time in the tank as far as he could. He did not want to return to reality, not just yet.

He was pulled back into his thoughts when broken forcibly from the glass, hissing as cold air brushed his wet skin. It had been abrupt, or at least he had thought it was. In truth, Mukuro had been standing right outside for hours, debating on the right time to evict him. She was sick of his avoidance, and frustrated on his behalf. As a courtesy, she had sent a messenger to the thief lord informing him that his friend was injured, but being cared for. Having received no response, she sent another, updating him on the demon's condition just before removing him from stasis. The reply received was curt if not polite and it had only roused her suspicions that the fox was not in fact the one to blame for their situation. It was her heir.

Hiei couldn't for the life of him figure out why he was being treated so coldly upon his emergence. Usually, he would receive a harsh scolding for his actions, which he would reply to sarcastically and dryly. These situations tended to sort themselves out within a couple of minutes, as neither participant avoided the brisk banter that defined their understanding for too long. He was the favorite of his lord, and was well aware of the fact, something he took full advantage of when he could. But this time was different. He was being treated like a pet who had done wrong, even being ignored. She was giving him the cold shoulder, for what he did not know. Deep within he felt anger rise towards the fox, as if it was all his fault. Realizing the thought, he cursed. He was trying to avoid thinking about him. Now, with no duties and no more excuses, he was forced to.

"_How, exactly, do you feel about me?"_ It wasn't a fair question. Hiei cringed just thinking about it. Why ask something so trivial? Clearly the fox knew what he meant to him. Then again, if it had been a trivial matter, he wouldn't have ran, he heard voiced in his head. He shook the thought away. Why had he done that? What had frightened him enough to make him turn tail more quickly than he had ever done before? It _had_ been a less than friendly encounter, for reasons which he was unsure of. The whole situation was puzzling. He paused, taking a deep breath and flopping down on the makeshift bed he had been provided in his private quarters. He was going to take this one step at a time. After all, he was not willing to end the longest friendship he had ever known over an idiotic question. He would, at least, have the last word in the matter. Well, when he was ready to return to the human world. Which he wasn't. His mind went reeling once more.

Closing his natural eyes and opening his mind's, he took a step back, trying to leave his physical body behind in favor of a mental dialogue with himself. If he could ignore his body he'd have a lot more success at weeding out distractions. This was to be taken seriously, as things generally were with the jaganshi. No banter, no fights, just himself and his subconscious. What exactly did he have to fear from that?

_I want him_. The first thought in his serene state nearly knocked him out of it completely, causing his body to jerk involuntarily as if he had been struck. Well, he _had_ been struck, just not in the physical sense. No, this wasn't right. This wasn't where he wanted his thoughts to go. But go they did, leading him down a path he had thought he incinerated years ago. He should have known it would come to this, after waking to find the fox in his arms. He wiggled, his body becoming heavy again. This detachment idea was not as effective as he hoped. He turned back into his mind.

Those first few moments, before true awareness he had been as close to bliss as he had ever imagined he would come. Worse yet, he had been comfortable. Content. Nothing else in the worlds seemed to exist. It was just him, the warmth of the fox, his smell, the feel of the curve of his body and how well they fit. He could still taste his skin on his lips, feel the softness of his hair as it pooled over his face. Something inside him ached as part of him admitted what that feeling meant. Never before in his life had he desired someone in such a way. Worse yet, never before had that desire caused him pain.

_I love him_. At this thought he lurched up, opening his eyes and looking around as if there were someone in the room with him. Finding that there was no one to disturb him, he slouched over, his head propped in his hands as his elbows dug into his knees. This was against the rules. He had always believed in love: it was hard not to when his life had been a product of a forbidden one. He had seen it between others, mocked it openly to indulge his hardened exterior, and even envied some for it. He had experienced love for his sister before even meeting her, and even his mother, who he could not bring himself to blame for her folly. He had been fully aware of the situation when he was thrown from the icy peaks, and knew that despite the hatred of the other apparitions, he was deeply loved by her. If he hadn't been, her loss wouldn't have driven her to suicide, especially with a still healthy baby girl to care for. Yes, he was well aware that love had played a vital role in his existence, but he had never wanted to be on this end of it. This kind of love was intimate, something that he could not bring himself to fathom. It would mean complete trust, submission, admitting that someone was the key to your weakness. He had already done that by protecting Yukina, and that had been a great sacrifice. Still, she had only been kept as safely as she was by him keeping his distance, pretending that she was of no importance to hide her preciousness to him. What loving the fox demanded undermined that entire sentiment, and he was not prepared to do so. He stopped, taking in a sharp breath and exhaling painfully, fingers digging into his skull. What was he thinking? Those few moments of pure happiness had been followed by the most crushing realization he had faced so far. Rejection.

_I loathe him._ No, that wasn't quite right. He couldn't bring himself to hate the fox. He had no idea what had prompted the situation, making it hard to pin blame. For some reason, though, he felt as if he were the guilty party. Nothing made sense. Why had Kurama let him hold him if he hated the touch that much? What could he have done to make his fox that repulsed? _His fox._ A pang shot through him again. The fox was no one's. At least, he would never be his. Hiei still wasn't sure if he wanted him to be. He had stayed contentedly by his side for years, watching and guarding, not that the other needed the protection. They had become a team, companions within the team, friends that shared something the two human boys would never be able to understand. Well, maybe one day the detective would see it, but he would never experience it the same way they did. Something was different between them. They recognized each other's brokenness without needing to harp on it. They just agonized silently, licking each other's wounds when they could, focusing on keeping each other alive. That was all he had wanted, once he had accepted the companionship, which had been its own small challenge. The fox had facilitated that; training the other slowly to accept him like an adopted home. Yes, he hated to admit it, but the fox felt like home. He did not need to ruin that if he could help it.

He knew what needed to be done. He knew it would not be easy. Clearly, the fox had figured out his feelings before he had sorted through them. He swallowed the bout of pain that came with the knowledge that he had not been accepted. Still, he was no stranger to rejection, usually facing it before even giving himself the chance to experience it with others. Though, this felt different. He felt mournful, almost, as if something would be lost in their companionship from actions he could not recall. It was the main purpose for this conversation: answers. That was the only reason it would be necessary, as far as he was concerned. Then, he would retreat. He looked forward to that more than anything: just the time for him and his self-loathing. If there was anything Hiei was good at, it was brooding.

If there was anything Kurama was good at, it was brooding. He had been doing that practically nonstop since their departure. No, that wasn't quite right. It had been since those arms encircled him, part lovingly, part menacingly that he had taken to the inside of his own head, calculating. It was one of his more practiced talents, though it didn't seem to be doing him much good at the moment. No matter how much he tried to assess the direction of the next few days he would find himself at a roadblock when it came to his turn at a dialogue. For once in his life, the fox found himself unable to produce the right words.

The fire demon had been something he felt it was only right to return: honest. This was where the fault lay, as he was not used to being open about anything that transpired in his beautifully complex mind. He wasn't quite sure he could be honest with himself, let alone with the other. A small chuckle came from the dark corners of his mind and he pushed it away: the silver haired one was no help to him. All he had done in the situation and the days after was feed him tempting dreams, tantalizing images, and sweet words to lure the other to him. The redhead had only thrown them back at him, knowing that anything of the sort would end the way it usually did for the Youko, with an exquisite bedding and a morning of broken hearts… and maybe broken bones. He was not prepared to love the other and was even less prepared to leave him or worse; who knew what the outcome would be between the two broken warriors.

He was pacing. Never before had he felt so restless. If only the half koorime would show his face so they could get this encounter over with then everything would be well again. Except that fox was still avoiding sorting through his feelings. That was not very promising.

Sitting down on the bed, he stared out the window. He didn't want to do this without a clear head. Hiei was one of the only people he had met who could bring out his temper, and in a situation this delicate he knew it needed to stay in check. He would need to have each word prepared before they left his lips. Taking a deep breath and falling back into the pillows, he looked inside himself, staring into the mirror that was his mind.

He had asked Hiei how he felt about him. It was only fair that he tried to figure out the same thing. Trying to let the thoughts flow uninhibited, he free associated. What did thinking of the fire demon make him see? _Warmth._ That was a given. He gave off a heat that penetrated the fox both physically and emotionally, making him feel at ease whenever he felt the familiar ki around him. _Protected._ Never in his life had he felt the need to be taken care of, aside from his short stint through infancy. Still, feeling their backs against each other's on the battlefield, and knowing that while they slept they were watching out for each other, he had felt as if a guardian had been bestowed upon him. Red eyes followed him during his trips to the Ningenkai, stalked him in the same way that they did his sister. Silently, he watched over the other, as did the redhead when he had the opportunity. _Afraid, hurt, numb, threatened_... and suddenly this was not going so well. Scrunching his eyes tightly, he focused on each of the negative feelings that had coursed through him. He had not been himself that night, something which the fox was painfully aware. Yes, the incident between the two of them had affected him, but not to this extent. It was only being used as a manifestation for feelings that already existed. The fox found himself perplexed at these feelings, wondering where they stemmed from. He thought of the other again, and found himself at ease. What was causing the conflict?

The answer was simple, but it had taken this long to come to on his own. _He_ was the source of conflict. He expected that his resistance was greatly in part due to his being angry. It had been a long time since he had found himself so enraged at another, at least not since the Dark Tournament. The smaller demon, whether he meant to or not, had dared step outside of their delicate relationship. Not only had he introduced a factor of physicality that was unspeakable before, but he had dared to take advantage of the fox's kindness in not fighting back and had attacked his points of vulnerability. The embrace afterward had left the fox sorting out all the feelings about the other he had kept inside. _The embrace_. That had been the most challenging part. It represented everything he had wanted to do to the other, everything he had wanted to feel, everything he had repressed. He had lain in those arms feeling bitter and regretful, as if this was something that they should have been able to do outside of insanity. This was something he held back from doing, out of fear and the need for stability. Now all that felt like a waste. He had tried to keep himself from jumping the hi youkai and in return he had been the one attacked. It was a frustrating circle that made him clench the blankets in his hands, needing a moment to find calm again.

And there it was, staring him in the face, refusing to be ignored. He wanted the other, wanted more than the friendship that he had been granted at the other's pace. At first, the steps he took to make the little demon comfortable around him were delightful. He reveled in watching himself being looked over, assessing risk, and deciding that he trusted the redhead. That resignation to trust had come about in more ways than one. First, it was as a conspirator, then as a partner in crime, then as a friend, and then… well they had progressed further than he had thought possible. Some nights, after feeling eyes on him as he sat through his classes and went about his usual routine, as the heavens opened up and doused the earth with cool rain, a low tap would resonate from his window. These nights were the fox's favorite, as his forgetfulness had left the other waiting in the rain. He would come in, soaked, and without a word shed his clothing, waiting to be handed a towel. The fox always took his time, teasingly as he knew how much his companion hated to be wet. He never let his eyes stray for too long over the body which now occupied his space, indulging in a breathy glance here and there before he threw a pair of black boxers that had been designated as Hiei's toward the youkai. He never accepted any other clothes, and the fox figured it was because of their human origins. After some light banter, which was almost a prerequisite for sleep between the two, the fox would climb into bed and motion for the other to follow. It was almost a ritual, offering and watching the fire demon stare at him as if he had two heads. He would wait patiently, covers overturned, a small smile on his lips. Inevitably, the other would slide in, close enough that they could feel each other's warmth, but feeling far away. In the beginning, they had slept back to back, a silent agreement. Now, though, on rainy nights that harbored no interruptions, they slept face to face, seeming to be thankful of the other's presence. They slept better together than they did apart, or at least the fox did. Something about the other was soothing, and he felt ease in having someone he trusted by his side. Since he had acquired his own place, the fox found that the other's visits lasted longer. Maybe it was because he was not as rushed to leave when the redhead had school, maybe it was the privacy of their new habitation, he couldn't rightly tell. All he knew is that more and more often he found himself waking before the other, as opposed to waking when he made a move to leave. That had always saddened him, and he found it was procedural to slide over on the bed once he was gone, taking in the leftover heat. The first time he had done this he pretended to be asleep, avoiding the stare it earned him from the hi youkai. He had grown to want that warmth, and the longer their game went on he found that he desired it with a forceful need. The thought disturbed him: need was akin to weakness. Although he himself had no problem with the idea of needing a lover he knew that the other would see it as a fault. The last thing he wanted to be in Hiei's mind was faulty; he had worked too hard to be seen as dependable.

A bitter taste entered his mouth. Dependable. That described his role in their relationship perfectly. It had been a difficult task to maintain, being utterly _dependable_ all the time. He wouldn't have done it for anyone else- aside from his human mother. That was a different thing entirely. His body racked with an ache, and he sat up, leaning back against the wall for support. For once, he did not want to be reliable. He just wanted to feel.

After so much fighting, so much work and compromise that had been made to keep his life he finally wanted to start living it. He was sick of games, sick of pretending not to have emotions. The small hints of his Youko side had been a poison, an addiction that he was ready to fall into headfirst. Yes, he was human in body, but that did not mean that he was not allowed the indulgences that he had been familiar with in his other life. He wanted to revisit an existence of sensation, of excitement, of learning, of contentment. He wanted to share himself as openly as he desired at any given moment, without feeling as if it would rain terror over him if he did. He wanted the opportunity to dance through the grass and make things grow, to live leisurely and busy himself with only what he loved. He was ready to find the parts of himself that he had buried out of fear while living as a prisoner to the Youko. It was time now to live for both of them.

_Let him ignore me_, he thought almost frantically. _Let him pretend that nothing happened, that all can be fixed with absence. Give me the time to figure out how to bring us back to where we were so that I can move on with my life. Let me mourn you so that there's nothing left to feel when you return. Give me that._

His thoughts were interrupted by a tap at the window.

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><p><strong>Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! <strong>I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, **leave reviews or shoot me a pm** with your requests!


	5. Chapter 5

Important Note: I IN NO WAY SUPPORT NON-CONSENTUAL ACTS BETWEEN PEOPLE. These are fictional characters, but that is no excuse as promoting such acts even in fiction promotes rape culture. THAT IS NOT OKAY.

I do not own YYH, as you should all know. If you didn't know that, go read the manga. As always **Rate and Review!**

**Let's bring the YYH Fandom back to life! **I'm working on a series of fanfics to breathe new life into the YYH Yaoi community, but to do that I need to know what you want. So please, **leave reviews or shoot me a pm** with your requests! I promise I don't bite!

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><p>His mind had to have been in chaos for him not to notice the other's energy approach. In truth, the hi youkai hadn't bothered masking it, figuring that it was only right to give the fox fair warning before arriving after their last encounter. It was also a precaution against him fleeing at the sight of the redhead: it would be horribly conspicuous if he had been sensed beforehand. At first, he had thought that the fox had left the window locked as a way to make Hiei ask for permission to try to resolve the situation, but upon seeing the surprise the fox wore when he had knocked he knew that the oversight was just that. This bothered him. Had the fox thought that he would disappear forever, or had he been distracted enough not to notice? Either way, he didn't like the sound of it.<p>

The window opened tentatively and the fox slipped off to the side, giving the fire demon a wide birth as he entered the room. Hiei frowned, noting the distance. On most of the nights that he chose to visit the kitsune that lacked a downpour he was usually greeted with warmth. The fox would approach him happily, pulling the cloak from his shoulders, pushing for that small moment of physical intimacy before hanging it on the hook and babbling happily about something that had undoubtedly made him think of the little demon. This time, there was silence. Kurama just stood against the far wall, watching patiently as the other came in. The other demon looked troubled by this change, taking a moment to study the fox openly before stripping himself of the black material and placing it on the hook. He was making it clear that he planned on staying for the duration of the talk, however long that would take.

To his surprise, the fox found himself agitated by this sudden visit. What exactly did the other plan to say to him after their last conversation? It was obvious to him that a discussion of mutual feelings was a long walk and a number of large mountain ranges away from happening, so what had prompted a visit so soon? He didn't move, just watched, arms crossed, as the fire demon stared, waiting for an invitation. After a moment, growing bored of the stalemate, he gave one.

"What brings you here, Hiei?" He tried to form the question cordially, but it came out sounding cold and exasperated. The fox fought back the urge to run his fingers through his hair, a habit that he was starting to develop. The fire demon broke his gaze, looking across the room.

"You kept it." His eyes pointed to the object sitting on the center of the student's desk. "I'm glad."

The fox narrowed his eyes, not in the mood for avoidance.

"It was a gift." He moved his eyes slowly over the other, receiving no response. "Though, I still don't know its purpose." He watched as the hi youkai searched for something in his eyes. He would not find anything there. The fire demon ran his tongue over his teeth, not knowing how the conversation would lead where he needed it to go.

"It's meant to heal. I thought I mentioned that." The last phrase was half curious, half testing. The fox's eyes went cold.

"You drank some." Hiei nodded slowly.

"I was injured." It was said matter-of-factly, like he was speaking to a child. This made the other angry.

"That's not what it does." Hiei felt his insides turn to liquid at that statement, as if something before him had gone horribly wrong. And something had, he was sure of it. He could see it behind the ice the fox was giving him. There was definitely something missing to his memory.

"What?" He asked without being sure that he really wanted to know. Part of him wanted to beg apology without being given an explanation, but something within him knew that neither of them would be able to move past this until it had been addressed. It was time to learn about the past.

He was met again with cold silence, green eyes watching him. The fox was waiting, watching him sweat. The fire demon felt himself grow warm, anger starting to build up. How was he supposed to know what he did wrong if the fox refused to speak to him? He was clearly trying, something that a few short years ago he would have felt was beneath him. He wasn't even being given a chance. Looking down, he pulled out his sheathed sword and threw it across the room, a clang resounding as it hit the floor. The fox did not look phased.

"Why are you being difficult Kurama?" His voice was raised, anger apparent as the temperature in the room went up a few noticeable degrees. All he wanted at this point was to make things right, which was becoming increasingly trying as his counterpart continued infuriating him without doing anything. His voice caught in his throat when his eyes met the other again.

"Would you like to know what you did to me?" The redhead pushed himself off the wall fluidly, taking measured steps forward. His eyes were hidden by his hair, which had fallen forward with his slightly hanged head. His arms disappeared below the elbow, hiding behind his back as he closed the distance between the two painfully slowly. The fire demon was entranced by the movement, the fox seeming to curve with every step, something that he had seen him do on the battlefield. It was a dance, an enticement before a killing blow, and it confirmed the something dark that was lurking in his brain. Not only had he done something, he had done it _to him_. The redhead approached, and he caught the look in his eyes before everything crumbled around him. The fox had snapped. It was time to accept his punishment. A rush of adrenaline hit him but he bit it back with one justifying thought: _I've hurt my fox._

The redhead struck him, sending him back into the wall and sinking into the bed. The fire demon floundered for a moment, sitting half upright against the wall. He did not get far before the redhead towered over him, settling between his spread legs. The spiky haired one heard a growl emanate from between them, expecting it to be coming from himself but finding that it was the other who produced the noise. Focused on the face inches from his, it was a moment before he registered the other's movement as a hand slid nimbly up his inner thigh and pressed into his groin forcefully. The shock of it caused him to jump, making his first and only attempt at freeing himself, which was stopped by the redhead's other forearm crushing his chest. Fury was weaved into the fox's eyes as he acted as the aggressor of the reenactment. It was all Hiei could do not to retaliate, to let the fox take out his anger, fearing that if he did he would regret it more than his initial mistake, whatever that had been.

"Let me show you," The redhead growled, dipping his head to the other's chest and tearing through his shirt with his teeth, leaving it in scraps. The hand that had been working him diligently was removed, replaced with the other's groin as he forced their hips together violently, earning a choked gasp from the smaller one. He could feel the redhead grow aroused against him, though it was more likely a physiological response to his anger. Teeth scraped over his chest, gently but equally threateningly, as the fox lifted his head, a slight gleam of perspiration tracing his neck. The fire demon swallowed, fighting the urge to move as he grew more and more conflicted. He was not given much chance for thought between the indelicate thrusts that were being forced upon him, his eyes caught by the rage in the other.

"First you grabbed me," the redhead's hand shot up, tangling his fingers in the other's hair and yanking roughly backwards, bringing the other's face to a painful angle. He let go quickly; his objective was not to cause immense amounts of pain, just to give him a taste of what he had felt. The hands had moved down to his waist, roughly digging into his hips, which had been squirming under the assault.

"Then you pinned me," He let his weight shift, accentuating his point as every pound became focused on that one spot. The fire demon's eye widened at this, biting back a surprised yelp, hands which had been clutching at the blankets now balled into fists. Despite an unspeakable need that was growing in him he felt exactly as the fox had intended him to feel: trapped. Nothing was more terrifying than being ensnared. Hands were moved once more, one dipping under the demon's waistline tauntingly, threatening to go further. The half koorime almost lost control and rebelled when long, delicate looking fingers worked their way up and wrapped around his throat, threatening to cut off his oxygen.

"Then you choked me." The hand around him tightened suggestively, only for a moment, insinuating the worst. The fox's movements became more violent, proving how much he had truly been trapped by his supposed friend. He had done it. He had made the other feel as vulnerable as he had. Knowing this, he looked up to make eye contact with the other for the first time since he had struck.

He stopped immediately, realizing that something had gone horribly awry. Letting his hand release the throat it was circled around he moved to support the delicate neck which had gone from tense to limp without warning. Red eyes stared up at him emptily, meeting his with nothing to offer. The strong hands which had been in fists just moments before were now slack, resting against the bed without tension.

"Hiei?" There was no response; the fire demon was too far gone to hear him. The world in front of those red eyes had faded, leaving him trapped in his own head. All he could hear was his own voice, repeating over and over, hateful and frightened. _You did this to him. You did this to him. Youdidthis youdidthis_

The fox pulled away, supporting his companion's weight with one arm around his back, the other still holding his head. Terror filled him as the cloud in his mind was immediately replaced with realization. Sitting back on his heels, he moved his hands to cup the other's face, bringing them nose to nose as he desperately tried to see what was happening behind those blank eyes. He whispered his name again and again, desperate to pull him back. This was not what he had wanted; none of it was. He had expected to be hit, to have fought and screamed his frustration, anything except to be holding his catatonic friend in his arms. Inside his head, Hiei was screaming, remembering through some impossible fog the events of the other night. He forced himself to relive them, watching over and over how he had brought terror to his fox's face, how he had been moments from extinguishing his life and how the other had refused to fight back for fear of hurting him. It was too much; he had driven the redhead to this. It was all his fault. _You did this you did this YOU did this you-_

Kurama began to panic, running his fingers through black hair as he tried to coax the other back into consciousness. He pushed himself against the smaller demon, replacing the roughness that he had been forcing on him with a tenderness he did not know himself capable of. He had broken the demon, caused his mind to fracture. Stroking his face with his fingertips desperately, his mind raced to find a solution. What had brought him out of the haze the first time, when it had been Hiei who aggressed the situation? He fought against the guilt wracking him, trying to remember the incident objectively for a hint to bring him back. His head snapped up as he softly caressed the other, still whispering the other's name and other sweet apologies. Gently, but with enough force to be felt, he pressed his forehead to the other's, hands moving to lightly grip either side of his face.

"Hiei, I'm sorry," He was pleading now, praying that he could pull him out of it. It hadn't been until then that he had really thought about the moments before they embraced, being much too focused on the attack and the embrace individually. Never had he considered the bridge between the two as pertinent, and it was in then that he realized how incredibly important it had been. He had mistaken the whole incident as two separate actions, not realizing that this movement had been the key. Hiei _had_ been trying to communicate something in that small moment, but it was not his awareness that kept him from doing so. It was his experience.

Feeling the pressure on his forehead, the fire demon slowly felt something pulling him back to the fox's bedroom. The air was still tense, but not for the reason it had been. Feeling the fox holding him, he let his eyes slip closed, all thoughts disappearing at the comforting touch. As if he had been holding his breath, he inhaled deeply, feeling at ease. There was a movement in front of him, and suddenly he knew he had returned to reality.

The fox felt like a fool for not figuring it out sooner. Of course that was what he had meant by it. The redhead knew that the other had never done it before. Hell, he wasn't sure if he had ever seen it done between lovers. That had been all the fire demon knew how to do to communicate his affections, and it had completely bypassed Kurama. Without a moment's hesitation, the redhead leaned in, deciding that it was time to teach his companion about something he had desired for far too long.

The fox leaned in and kissed the koorime.

Hiei didn't press back against the lips that took his, just accepted it unmovingly, not knowing how to respond. They felt soft against his own roughness, the contrast intensifying the sensation. The lips against his parted for air momentarily, then pressed on, needing no invitation. Again, it was gentle, almost chaste as the two just touched innocently- an extreme difference to the beginning of their evening. The redhead was just about to pull back, as if giving up, when two hands trailed up his arms slowly, resting on his shoulders for support. The fox let out a sigh as he broke the kiss, encircling the other in his arms. The embrace was returned, leaving the redhead to turn his face into the other's neck. He trembled as he spoke, clearly having hurt himself in the process of hurting the other.

"I'm sorry, Hiei. I'm so sorry," he shook, burying his head further into the crook of the demon's neck, curling in on himself. The fire demon brought a hand to his hair, and for the first time he let his fingers slide through the red mane, pressing his face into the locks as he tried to calm the other. His eyes were still closed, a calm having come over him the moment the two touched. The redhead bit his lip, growing quieter but still stammering. "I didn't want to hurt you; I love you. I'm so sorry-"

Red eyes snapped open and the fox was pushed back. Not sure that he could face what was in those eyes, the fox curled in on himself further, cowering. The demon stared, not sure how he could go from vicious to shaken so easily.

"What did you say?" The words were forced, his mouth dry and throat hinting at soreness. He could practically see the fox's ears fold back, his tail between his legs. He didn't expect it when the hands he had been touched with earlier reached out, sliding up his legs and gripping at the fabric of his pants as the other slid down, trying to control the shake that had taken him.

"I love you." The words were squeezed out from clenched teeth. The fox struggled to find the next thing to say, settling on gripping the other silently. He knew that he had no right to force him to stay, that by all chances the fire demon would have flitted back out his window before he could lift his head. Yet there was nothing left to do but tell him, to let go of what he had been hiding from them both from the very beginning. He had been the one calling the shots, deciding not to fight, losing his temper and attacking, and now all that was left was to give the other demon everything he had to bargain. Body and soul, he was offering it all. This was his retribution. Facing rejection: it was the least he could do.

"Kurama." The name was punctuated with a heavy swallow. Neither of them knew who it came from. The stillness became too much to bear, and the fox collapsed into the other's lap at the mention of his name, head resting on the other's thigh as he trembled, waiting for judgment. When it came, he was not ready. Hands gently pried his off of the demon as he slipped away, leaving the fox to land with a gentle thud against the comforter. The redhead felt the emptiness and took this for his answer. Pulling his hands over his eyes, he dragged his legs up as he lay on his side, forming a ball, waiting to hear the close of the window and feel the energy in the room dissipate. He choked on a dry sob, tears evading him, as the promise of an eternity alone weighed down on him. He deserved this. For once, the thief was facing justice.

There was a pressure on his knees, straightening them out. For a moment, a despicable thought flashed through his head: _He does not have to accept my love to accept my body._ His stomach lurched and he wondered if he had hurt the fire demon enough to make him feel entitled to that privilege. He was, of course, after everything that the fox had done. It would only make their parting that much more horrible, more nightmarish than it had already become. Fingers reached out to remove his hands from their place and he tensed involuntarily, preparing. He felt the other pause, then continue, pulling his hands away and replacing them with his own. The fox opened his eyes at the feel of the rough skin on his cheeks to find the other lying across from him.

Both hands caressed his face, his neck, his hair. The movements were slow, careful, as if he were as delicate as some of the flowers he summoned. The fire demon was staring at him intently, and the look reflected in his eyes was not something the redhead had ever imagined. It was a combination of concern and endearment, a dash of something painful woven into the mix. The fox immediately relaxed, fearful sorrow replaced with something new… something he did not understand just yet.

Red eyes blinked slowly, followed by a shift on the bed as the smaller one slid closer, ever so carefully. He was determined to try this again, without frightening the other. It seemed to be working, as he felt the tension melt away as he continued to work his fingers through the softest parts of the redhead, memorizing his warmth. The tension had made him experience the same fear he had upon waking with the other in his arms, but with him loosening up the hi youkai knew that this was different. This was not forced. This was acceptance.

As if practiced, the koorime closed the distance between the two, dropping an arm to wrap around the other's waist while bringing his other hand around to cup his cheek delicately. Their noses brushed as their foreheads came together and he closed his eyes, proving his ease to the other wordlessly. He felt a hand reach out to clutch at the scraps of shirt against his chest and opened his eyes, finding the fox turned into his warded palm and placing a kiss there, somewhat tentatively. He pulled the redhead close, bringing his head to his chest and weaving that same hand into the hair that he always longed to touch, kneading it softly. He held the fox tightly as he quaked for a minute, whispering unintelligible apologies and words of love. He felt long legs wrap around him.

"I know," Hiei muttered. "Me too."


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for reading everyone! This is the final chapter, and finally we have our lemon!

Don't forget to **rate and review**, It's the only way I know if you like what you read!

I don't own YYH lalala lets get to the important stuff

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><p>Both were still afraid, and both knew it.<p>

The next few days blurred together. Most of their time was spent within the confines of the four walls in which they had lain together in understanding, mostly for fear. Neither was ready to let go of the other, not even for the smallest of things. In the chaos of their feelings they had discovered how starved they were for touch and now they planned on making up for its absence. The light coming in from the window changed as time passed over them, neither of them really noting it or caring. Life would not get in their way just yet.

As gently as they held each other, they also clung desperately, hands fisted in each other's hair or clothing. Limbs were tangled around each other expertly, holding them comfortably while equally trapping them in place. If one needed or wanted to move he pulled the other with him, keeping the connection, afraid of what would happen if it broke. They refused to stay inactive for long, needing the movement to remind them that they were welcome, that it was consented, that it had not been but a dream. Neither of them slept, not truly. Eyes were sometimes open, sometimes closed, but both remained fully conscious of their surroundings, soaking the other in. They watched each other, relaxed in the gaze of the other, felt small reminders that they were both there. There were innumerable caresses, butterfly kisses, brushes of closed lips and breathy sighs from both of them, all the while hands clutched at each other. They were desperate for the other not to leave.

After the passing of a full day, nature claimed its victory over the two. Both knew that they would need to move, need to eat at some point, but neither was willing to admit it readily. It was not until a low grumble came from the redhead's abdomen that they both looked up at each other, knowing that someone was about to let go. It took all his strength to ignore the pleading behind green eyes asking him to stay and he sat up slowly, pushing back the disappointment that rose when the hands that had been on his chest slipped away limply, defeated. He looked down at the sight in front of him, baffled at the fact that mere seconds ago he had been holding such a creature in his arms. The same pleading eyes watched him intently as he stretched out, rubbing his neck as if it caused him discomfort. In truth, it was a false gesture: he had never been more comfortable in his life. Still, his exterior required some upkeep, fox or not.

"You need to eat." It was said indisputably, but the fox still found the will to argue.

"I have all I need right here," he replied, letting his hands run over the other's legs before feebly attempting to pull him back onto the bed. The fire demon swatted the other away lightly, feeling a tingling sensation along the paths that had been drawn by the other's hands. He had no doubt that the redhead had been a master of seduction in his past era. He was still unused to the idea of being so open, at least verbally, about the other's importance to him, the redhead's words causing his breath to hitch. He averted his eyes, looking over to the door as if it had some great significance.

"Don't be ridiculous. This laziness does not constitute starvation," he was surprised at the almost bored drawl that he had managed to produce. It would take much more to fluster him, apparently. The redhead moved, sitting up with great effort and facing the hi youkai, catching his eyes again. What he did next was incredible, throwing the demon off balance. The fox pouted, bottom lip protruding slightly as he averted his gaze, clearly displeased with the direction of the conversation. Hiei couldn't help it; he just moved without thinking, needing to touch. His hand raised, forefinger lifting the other's chin as his thumb gently brushed over the quivering lip absentmindedly. The fox tilted his head in response, then his tongue darted out to lap at the digit languidly. They maintained eye contact for a moment, breaking when the fox closed his eyes to let his lips part. Hiei pulled his hand back abruptly, blinking. Then it dawned on him that he had been distracted. He glared at the other halfheartedly, earning an exasperated sigh in response.

"Fine," the redhead moved to stand, turning his head from the black haired one for the first time in ages. Hiei was almost disappointed at the lack of fight. He threw a look over his shoulder before making his way to the door. "Come on, now. Do you even remember the last time you ate?"

Hiei swallowed, thinking. "No." He answered begrudgingly, caught in his own trap. The redhead looked toward the kitchen, then back to him, clearly not wanting to step out of sight. The fire demon sighed, then made his way up and through the door.

"Don't expect me to cook." He wandered into the room, his desire to destroy the other's unease overpowering his will to stay put. He had never been through this particular door, simply knowing that it led into the apartment's only other room, save the bathroom. It was small, an entryway, kitchen, and living space all in one, separated by a small half counter with high chairs. He seated himself at the counter, watching and waiting for the other to come in and feed them both. The redhead did just that, putting his hair up with a quick movement and setting to work, pulling out a number of pots and pans and ingredients from all sorts of drawers and cabinets. He didn't look at the other much while cooking, smiling contentedly every now and again at being watched, which he was. The smaller demon didn't take his eyes off of him while he worked, noting the quick, practiced ease he had in doing things other than fighting. He found it almost surreal to watch the young, seemingly human man do something innately ordinary and him being a part of it. The food was done quickly enough, the half demon opting to make a traditional western breakfast with miso, sitting at the other side of the counter and waiting for his companion to eat. The smell of food had made him realize his hunger, and he ate without inhibitions, stopping only to glare at the redhead who had been too busy enjoying the show to partake in the food himself. The fox grinned, picking up his utensils and humoring the one across from him. It was a completely foreign experience, sitting and eating together like a normal human couple might, but the small interactions made it undeniably _them_. After having finished, the redhead took back the plates, rolling up his sleeves and submerging them in soapy water, humming ever so quietly to himself. The other didn't move, contented to sit and observe. With anyone else the fire demon would have found himself instantly bored, but even the smallest of things Kurama did warranted his attention.

Hiei headed back into the bedroom first, followed closely by the other. The hi youkai flopped back down onto the mattress heavily, expecting to feel a weight next to or above him at any moment. He was surprised to find that the redhead had made his way through the other door, closing it so that it was propped open in the slightest of manners. He heard a flushing noise, then movement, and knew that the shower had been turned on. The door opened again, and he turned his head to the fox with a raised eyebrow, not having moved from his comfortable position.

"Well we might as well bathe now that we've been fed," the redhead smiled, crinkle eyed and innocent, something that was usually dealt with a good amount of teasing. Hiei nodded, but it wasn't until the redhead turned away and pulled his soft shirt over his head that he sat up, eyes fixed on the other. His hair was still up, giving the fire demon an unobstructed view of his back.

This was highly uncommon; the fox was modest to the point of fault in front of his teammates, and Hiei had not yet been an exception to that. In point of fact, the stoic demon had only seen his counterpart disrobed partially when he was wounded, still with the coverage of bandages and wrappings keeping skin hidden. Even this was rare, as the blue haired girls and old woman had been the main choices for tending to his healing, even though that had been entrusted to him on a few occasions. Despite being half clothed, Hiei had never seen so much of the fox this uninhibited.

With a twist of his fingers, the aforementioned kitsune let his hair fall back into its natural place, covering the well-defined muscles of his shoulders like a red cascade. He then bent, and with a quick movement his pants were gone too, leaving nothing between skin and on looking eyes but air. The fox tossed the set into an unlidded hamper on the other side of the room, turning ever so slightly to meet his eyes with the red ones that were sliding over his body. The moment lasted about a second, then he padded back over to the bathroom, disappearing inside.

"You _will_ join me, won't you?" It was said casually, as if it had been an afterthought, but they both knew better. Realizing that he had stopped breathing, the fire demon shook his head violently before stripping himself of what remained of his shirt and pulling at the numerous belts along his waist. He had lost himself in the image of the other, drowned out by the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Ridding himself of his clothes, he moved toward the open door, stopping in its frame to just stare at the sight in front of him. The redhead's back was still to him, hair now wet and heavy, making it look longer than it was. The fire demon walked forward slowly, seeing that the shower door had been left open for him. He didn't enter, just stood on the precipice, a hand clutching at the pane of glass. Stray droplets hit him where he stood, grounding him against the impossible sight before him. Noting his presence, the redhead turned to him, making a mock quizzical face. Hiei tensed, not letting his eyes leave the other's face. For the first time a dark thought was taking root in his head, which he tried not to let show on his face. _Why has this creature chosen me? What have I possibly done to make this a reality?_ A soft, almost nervous smile appeared on the other's face, breaking his train of thought.

"Come on in; it's only water. We'll dry you off soon enough. I promise," the fox's voice was almost husky, pretending to misunderstand the wary look in the other's eyes. The demon was thankful for this, letting himself be coaxed in without letting the words in his head have too much affect. The fox switched places with him, moving the smaller one with gentle pushes from hands that had made their way to his shoulders. The fire demon let out an audible hiss as the water hit him and the fox chuckled lightly as he moved his hands to the other's neck, directing his head under the stream. There was a soft pop and Hiei was directed to close his eyes, which he did. Hands rummaged through his hair as they massaged his scalp, a pleasant, flowery scent filling the room. He was turned, then his face was tilted as water rinsed the suds from his hair, long fingers still working through it. Then came the fox's turn, his head pulled forward into the water gently before the shorter one went to work on his red mane, taking his time as he gently combed through the strands, knowing that the fox would have been this thorough had he done it himself. His hair was rinsed, and they took turns soaping up their hands to wash each other.

Without speaking, hands slid over skin almost systematically. They took turns washing each other's backs before turning back to face each other, hands running over chests at the same time. They took their time, moving slowly, testing, lifting each other's arms when they had to and brushing hair aside as it stuck to unwashed skin. Without discussing it, they both avoided each other's more intimate spots, not wanting to interrupt the gentleness of the mood with that sort of desire. Even so, there was no awkwardness between the two. Curiosity had overshadowed their shyness, the fox usually covered to the neck and the fire demon, who had been naked in the presence of the other countless times, unused to being touched.

It was not until the stream became cold, earning another angry sound from the jaganshi, that they removed themselves from the water. Having apparently placed towels out before his invitation, the fox wrapped one around the hi youkai, tousling his hair and drying him like he would a child. Hiei grimaced at the smile on the redhead's face, pulling the towel from his hands and reversing their roles, growling as the kitsune used the proximity as an excuse to pull their chests together, getting the other wet all over again. He couldn't help but laugh as the towel was shoved in his face, the fire demon deciding that it would be better to dry himself off alone and storming into the bedroom. The redhead was unperturbed, knowing that the anger was only masking his embarrassment. He dried off quickly and followed eagerly, knowing that the other would be waiting. He found him kneeling over his clothes, feeling at what remained of his shirt, meeting the redhead's gaze with a look that said, _I hope you're proud of this._ The fox smiled sheepishly, if not triumphant. He simply shrugged, leaning down to meet the other and placing small peck on his cheek, nimbly retrieving the clothes for himself at the distraction. He stood again, making a show of walking over to the basket he had thrown his clothes in and depositing them there. Hiei raised an eyebrow, but didn't protest. Apparently neither of them were going to be getting dressed, it seemed. The fox wrapped arms around him, buried his head in his hair. He let himself be led back over to the bed, settling down as the other pushed gently. They laid back down, propped up on their sides, eyes locked.

The silence had gone on for too long, going from comforting to suspicious as far as the fire demon was concerned. He knew there was something behind those eyes, something that had been there since he had broken their embrace earlier. Wariness, perhaps. Caution, he supposed. Something that had not been there while they touched. He wanted to reach out, but somehow it was harder now. Then, something occurred to him.

"Kurama," he started slowly, looking for the right words, "we cannot stay here forever." The fox blinked, then turned from him. He faltered, not knowing what he had said. "You're going to have to go to school."

The redhead pulled the comforter over to his face, clearly affected by something going on in his head. The fire demon slid up to him, touching his shoulder lightly. With a resigned sort of noise, he turned, smiling up at the other. Hiei frowned. It was not a genuine smile, and he knew it.

"Kurama." He growled. The smile fell as the redhead turned his face away, presumably to return to his previous position. The fire demon reached out and held his face, gently, looking into the other's eyes. The initiation was all the fox needed as he leaned up, taking the youkai's mouth with his.

This was different from the first kiss they shared; it was rougher, the fox pulling on his lower lip with his teeth. The fire demon's lips parted with the new sensation, his eyes closing as a tongue probed for entry. He allowed it, leaning in as the body next to him turned and arms snaked around him. They pressed into each other, suddenly aware of how cold their skin had grown since they had last held each other. The fox's hand slid over his chest, igniting a trail as it went, while the other arm kept him leaned over, pulling on his neck. The redhead fell back against the cushions, taking the other with him, not allowing their mouths to part for long. Hiei's arms were busy holding him up, one on either side of the kitsune's head. The hand that had been on his chest moved down, encouraging him to lift his leg over the redhead so that he was now on top of him. The fire demon let himself be directed, just beginning to get ahold of the techniques the fox was teaching him with his tongue when he drew back. The dark haired one was left breathy, eyes half lidded at the new feeling. Green eyes stared up at him, and he was pushed back enough so they could look at each other clearly.

"Do you want to leave?" The unspoken '_me'_ was not unheard. The redhead may have kept his tone even, but his hands gave him away, holding tightly to the other. The youkai's head fell a little, his teeth gritted as he answered.

"We both will have to eventually." One of the hands holding him slid into his hair, massaging a spot behind his ear. He instantly relaxed, leaning into the touch unconsciously.

"You didn't answer my question." It was stern, but he could tell what the plant wielder needed to hear. He looked away, trying to ignore the now soft touches that were clearly meant to drive him insane. Where had all of his willpower gone? Not long ago he had been planning on running, giving up on any feelings toward the fox. Now, though, he couldn't even control his scarcely spoken words. He was at the other's mercy, completely.

"… No." He looked back at the redhead, finding relief flooding his eyes. It was heartbreaking, how little faith the fox had in their feelings. He faltered, knowing that they had brought this struggle upon themselves and would need time to heal. He leaned back down, kissing the other tenderly. It was the first kiss he had ever initiated; he wasn't even sure he had done it right. The fox made a small noise under him, as if an "ah" had been forming in the back of his throat but had been cut off with surprise. The fire demon tried again, pressing another gentle kiss to his lips, then his eyelids, then down his neck: wherever felt right and needed. He had no experience loving someone, no knowledge of how it was supposed to feel, but he'd be damned if he wasn't going to do it to the end. He had finally won the fox; he would not let him go even if he begged.

Kurama could barely believe what was happening. Each of the gentle movements the fire demon's lips made against his skin was sending exquisite tremors through his body, despite being somewhat clumsy. He could barely contain himself as a hot tongue darted out, tracing a line that had perspired on his chest in a painfully slow manner. He arched up at the nip that was placed at his collarbone, looking down to watch as his partner explored. He found red eyes staring back at him, watching for his reaction, making sure that he was doing it right, whatever the "it" was. He smiled at the cute sight, the hi youkai looking up at him with his tongue peeking out, like a cat who had been caught in the middle of grooming. He reached down to stroke the face that hovered over him, loving the look on the other's face as he closed his eyes. That same tongue darted out again, tasting one of the long fingers, showing the fox what he had learned from him earlier. The redhead swallowed. If this kept up he would not be able to hold back much longer.

He had never dreamed he would see the half koorime so… wanton. His other side had provided him with a number of vivid fantasies involving the spiky haired devil, but they had always had a sort of roughness about them, as if violent lovemaking was the normal expectation of the smaller demon. For someone who could move at speeds impossible to track by the human eye, he was moving incredibly slowly, taking his time in savoring every taste as it entered his lips, every touch that he gave or was given. The fox sighed breathily as the other sucked gently on his abs, running a hand over his own chest encouragingly, the other tangling in black hair. The gesture had not escaped the attention of the owner of said hair, noticing as the redhead's palm hovered over one of his nipples for a moment longer than anywhere else. He moved back up, taking to teasing it gently with his teeth.

The fox's breath hitched as his heartbeat sped up; it took every ounce of control he had not to thrash wildly underneath his partner. Where on earth had he learned to do that? His brain was becoming muddled as the pressure building below steadily increased, begging to gain some attention. He was determined, though, to let the fire demon have control of what transpired. The last thing he wanted was to assert his dominance over the other: he wasn't ready for that yet. After their last little breakdown, he felt he owed it to his companion to let him take the lead. He would direct him as passively as he could, letting him decide what and how he wanted it. It seemed, though, that he wouldn't have to do that much instructing, as his pupil was quick to learn. A hand replaced the mouth on him, only so that he could move on to the other side of his chest. Kurama's hips bucked at the double attack, needing some sort of friction. The other granted no such thing, his hips still far too high for the other to reach without struggling. It did, however, pull the fire demon's attention up, and he found his face being brought back to the others with a determined tug and needy moan.

The redhead had lifted his head off of the mattress to reach the other, trying to pull him down so that at least some part of their bodies connected below their mouths. His tongue was frantic, fucking the other's mouth as he twisted his hand in his hair, the other reaching down to cup his ass. He grinned wickedly around the other when Hiei lost control for a moment, fighting for dominance with his tongue. His hips came down sharply, enticing a gasp from the fox, the stimulation having been too much without warning. He almost whimpered when Hiei snapped back to reality, bringing his hips to a halt as he considered their positions, remembering their previous misunderstanding. Avoiding as the other tried to recapture his mouth, he shifted, rubbing himself slowly against the other. The fox opened his eyes, only to see that he was being tested. As much as he was trying to let the other take the lead the demon above him was also considering him, not wanting a repeat of either of their trauma. He moved again, as if to punctuate a question that had not been asked. The fox let his eyes roll back for a moment before making the next move, which he knew was his. He leaned back up, taking a delicate earlobe into his mouth and pulling on it gently with his teeth. At the same time, a hand slid down between them, rolling the head of the demon's member between his thumb and forefinger.

The noise that came from the one above him was divine, part gasp, part husky groan. Sweat was beginning to develop over his tightly contoured muscles and he couldn't help but pant as an incredibly skilled hand slid over both of them, anchoring them together at the hips. The fox had taken his bet and raised him one, and clearly the fire demon was losing. His hips gyrated slowly, the hand matching the speed he set, pushing the two bundles of heat together as they moved. He had lost the ability to keep up with the fox's mouth, letting his head fall into the other's neck, kissing and licking haphazardly between pants. The redhead was not much more put together, keening small whining noises at the pace, turning his head toward the other's and teasing whatever flesh he could reach in a godly manner. The fire demon began to lose his pace, and not knowing what to do next he gripped the sheets, pressing his face against the other's neck and panting his name.

The hand around his cock tightened at the base, leaving Hiei feeling as if he had climaxed while leaving him needy. He gasped, trying not to jerk wildly against the other as he tensed. A gorgeous whine escaped him, and Kurama had a difficult time not just finishing them both there.

"Hiei," he breathed, trying to keep from getting lost in the sensation of black hair against his neck. "Not yet."

The redhead pushed lightly at the other, who took the hint and leaned back, though with great difficulty. Each of the sensations he was experiencing was new, each overwhelming. It was a testament to his discipline that he didn't lean back in and finish the job himself, knowing that the fox had something in mind. He almost whimpered at the sight of the fox reaching down to move his own length to the side; the sight of him touching himself was worthy of his dreams for the rest of his life.

"Next you," A pant interjected. "You use here." The fire demon's cock jumped visibly as the fox spread himself, waiting for action from the other. He had expected the redhead to climb up with him, for them to tend to each other's lengths in a similar manner that he had coaxed the other's nipples to life. He had not seen this as an outcome, and honestly wasn't sure how to make it happen. The fox stroked himself again, collecting the dew that had formed between the two of them and brought it to his entrance. The hi youkai swallowed hard as the same hand shakily brought his to the spot he had outlined, pressing his fingers against the bud.

"You have to prepare it," the fox explained through heavy breaths, wriggling against the other's digits suggestively. He was losing focus between the bouts of intensity and absence, needing the other to take action before he went insane. Part of him had wanted to pin the other by the hips and swallow him whole, knowing that the moment he let his throat close around the other he would be screaming in ecstasy. But that would have meant sidelining his submission: something that was much more important to him at the moment. He felt the silver haired one frown disapprovingly inside his head and decided not to care: the Youko had made it a point to be dominant in all of his encounters. Well, except one. He had accepted the black winged demon as a lover unlike any of his others, but that had left him even more hurt and hollow at his death. The Youko wanted to top again, this had been clear. Kurama bit his lip at the thought of taking the other, knowing that he'd have to calm down if he wanted to last any longer. That he would save for another time, when they were both more confident in their love for each other. For now he wanted to be entered, to lose the innocence of this untainted body under the heat of his black haired lover. Allowing himself to be fucked was one of the only ways he knew to truly communicate his love: it was the only thing this body had to give compared to his other. Even though the Youko shared his affection (although he wasn't sure to what extent) he would never make this allowance.

The fox was pulled from his thoughts roughly as a finger pushed into him without warning. It had hurt, and he let out a strangled noise, not having been ready for the intrusion. The black haired demon stopped abruptly, pulling the digit out slowly and carefully, concern written plainly across his face. Kurama cursed himself for not having hidden his discomfort, doubly frustrated at his lack of instruction. Obviously the other would have no experience with this; he couldn't be expected to magically know the ins and outs of male love. Noticing that his lover had grown soft at the movement, the fire demon gently palmed at his member, trying to mimic what had been done to him earlier. The fox mewed, wiggling and bringing his knees together instinctively. Hiei would have none of it, dipping his head and forcing the legs apart. The redhead's entrance looked a little more swollen than it had been before, and he grimaced knowing that he had been the cause. He would not hurt his fox. Out of pure instinct, he leaned in and flicked his tongue out, brushing the reddening spot like he would lick a wound from his dragon. The fox choked, eyes flying open at the foreign feeling, ending it with a moan. Watching the other's reaction this time, the fire demon lapped again, feeling the erection under his hand begin to return to life. He pushed this time, slowly, letting his tongue break the barrier of tight muscles. For this he was rewarded with a moan, and he decided that this warranted some attention. He picked up the pace once the fox decided to relax, shoving his tongue in and out, copying the action the redhead had employed on his mouth earlier. The fox couldn't help the sounds he was making, trying to stifle his cries with a hand over his mouth. The smaller demon pulled it away, clearly intent on hearing every last noise, a twinkle in his eyes that begged for more. The fox obliged, knotting his hands in black hair again, trying to rub off against the soft strands that were tickling his length. It was only a tease; no matter how hard he tried he couldn't gain any friction, the softness driving him to the edge of madness.

Feeling the ring around his tongue loosen, the demon used the same trick as before, dipping his fingers in the mess that was forming at his tip. This time, he coated them, allowing the sticky substance to give them a sheen before even attempting to enter the other. It proved useful; between that and the clever use of his tongue he slipped in easily, moving two fingers experimentally inside.

The fox cursed loudly, causing him to stop again, terrified that he hurt the other. His gaze was met with a conflicting sight. The fox had let go of his hair to clutch himself tightly, his whole body shaking violently as he caught himself on the edge of orgasm. He had just stopped it, but couldn't help the contraction of his lower muscles as he fought it back. He hadn't meant to curse; it was horribly uncharacteristic of him. The jolt had shocked him that much, leaving him utterly breathless as he tried to come down. His other arm was thrown over his eyes, hiding half of his face as he trembled. How unlike him to be so prone to pleasure: the years of abstinence must have taken a greater toll than he had wanted to admit.

The fire demon repositioned himself so that he could lean over the other without moving his fingers. With his free hand, he moved the redhead's arm, trying with great difficulty to catch the fox's mouth as he attempted to bury his face in the pillows. He succeeded, moving his fingers in time with his tongue, enjoying the desperate whimpers coming from below him. With one quick movement, and his mouth serving as a worthy distraction, he replaced his fingers with his cock, sliding inside the other with a single stroke.

Kurama gasped around his tongue, eyes opening at the invasion. He was thankful for the small amount of pain that had come with the entrance, needing it to keep from coming on the spot. Hiei was fully sheathed, just waiting to move. Having both stopped moving, the fox signaled the continuation of the kiss with a flick of his tongue, eyes still open. The other followed suit, picking up where their mouths had left off without closing his eyes. They watched each other, transfixed as they adjusted to the myriad of sensations, before the hi youkai pulled his face away and began to move.

Something deep within the fox screamed that he had been waiting for this moment since the day the two had met, followed by the realization that it was not going to last much longer for either of them. They gave up on each other's mouths completely as the pressure between them shot to new levels, threatening to overwhelm them at any given moment. The fire demon had started slowly, but after the first few strokes he had lost all semblance of reason in favor of meeting the fox's uninhibited movements, which had been much faster than his. They clawed at each other, reduced to nips and licks as they became shaky, nearing the end quickly. The youkai could feel the other's shaft rubbing along his stomach, knowing that with each thrust that he provided the other jerked against him. The heat enveloping him was entirely uncontrollable, and he could feel the walls that held him spasm as he grew closer and closer to the edge. Knowing that he couldn't go on any longer, Hiei reached down and fondled the fox's arousal, earning a scream of pleasure as he tightened incredibly around his length. Kurama's world went white as he found his release, his insides sucking it out of the demon on top of him. Never having felt such intense pleasure in his life, the fire demon couldn't help but cry out, the other's name on his lips as he pulsed inside him.

Neither one seemed to be able to breath. The redhead was absolutely spent, laying limply as the other continued to thrust shallowly, riding out the last moments of ecstasy as he came down, still shooting against the inner walls around him. The fox tried to smile, but settled for a shaky breath as the other removed himself slowly, collapsing on top on the redhead with newfound exhaustion. He felt fingers caress his hair, only bothering to lift his face when they stopped. Feebly, he moved his face toward the fox, presumably to close the distance between their mouths. He was met with a small laugh as the fox finished what he could not, taking the lead for the first time since they began and directing his lover's mouth. Hiei didn't complain, glad that the tables had turned comfortably. He knew the fox was not used to accepting the submissive role, but was infinitely satisfied by how it had played out. He could tell that each future bedding would be a contest for dominance, and he would have it no other way. Pulling back to rest his head on the other's chest, he smiled.

They remained like that until both had caught their breaths, coming back from the high of their activities. It was the fox, surprisingly, that moved first, sliding out from under the other to sit up gingerly. The fire demon followed suit, taking the other's wrists when he saw what had prompted the move. At some point during their lovemaking he had scraped his nails roughly down the other's abdomen, four red lines standing out against the otherwise pale skin. Hiei stared for a moment, before pulling the other into his lap, a hiss coming from the redhead.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, clearly more upset than the fox. Kurama stroked his hair, lifting his face and giving him a tender kiss on the cheek.

"Don't, love. It wouldn't be as good without a little bloodshed." He grinned wolfishly, something new that made the fire demon's length twitch, trying to return to life. The fox laughed. "I think we both need a break." He mused, gently pulling himself away as he slipped from the edge of the bed. He faltered, losing his balance as he stood, not used to the soreness that their tryst had caused. Hiei was next to him in a flash, an arm around him, setting him back onto the mattress. The redhead smiled weakly, nodding over to the desk.

"Why don't we put your gift to good use, shall we?" It was in the fire demon's hands seconds later, and the redhead blinked, not having paid enough attention to the movement. Thanking him, he uncorked the top carefully. Hiei had settled between his legs, staying as close as he could to the other. The fox smiled secretly. He was going to enjoy this.

Taking the gourd in one hand, he let a small amount of the liquid pool in his cupped palm, carefully handing the container to the other for sealing. The fire demon watched curiously, then his eyes widened as the redhead smeared the liquid across his chest, coating the wound. He rubbed gently, sighing as the cuts became more and more faded with each motion of his hand. It was almost a minute before they had vanished completely, the fox looking satisfied as he searched the other's eyes.

Hiei gulped.

"You don't?"

"Nope."

"Ah."

The fox laughed as the youkai's face grew red and he covered his mouth with his hand, clearly embarrassed.

"Come on now, I'm going to need help getting cleaned up. Though, if you're willing to stay for a while," green eyes flicked to the container, "I'm sure we can find another useful application for my present."

Trying to hide his embarrassment, the fire demon scooped the laughing kitsune up in his arms, heading to the shower for the second time that evening.

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Again, thanks for sticking around.** Please post reviews**, they're infinitely helpful and encouraging.

Also, feel free to shoot me a pm with pairing requests. I plan on doing a few more KH, and K plus some others... I look forward to your requests and feedback!

As always - Rose


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